


It's A Date!

by Hyenafan



Category: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Genre: Cutesy stuff, Gen, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 14:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21496006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyenafan/pseuds/Hyenafan
Summary: A movie and a murder.Inspired by this incorrect quote: https://incorrectjthmquotes.tumblr.com/post/181625340151/nny-im-gonna-take-you-out-jimmy-great-its-aNny: I'm gonna take you out.Jimmy: Great, it's a date!Nny: I meant that as a threat.Jimmy: See you at 6!
Relationships: Johnny "Nny" C./Jimmy "Mmy"
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	It's A Date!

The pen scratched the final lines into the paper of his latest Happy Noodle Boy comic. Johnny gently placed it down and studied how newest waste of paper. A knock on the door broke the relative silence and Johnny jolted in his seat. He frowned and looked up from his work in annoyance. Girly Scouts wouldn’t be here this late and Squee never came over despite living right next door. A second knock sounded and Johnny dragged himself out of the chair and over to the door.

The last thing he expected was Jimmy standing there, grinning and waving as he looked him up and down. And yet, there he stood. Jimmy himself looked a little better dressed than he had that morning. He still had those dumb fishnet gloves, but his shirt looked clean and lacked any rips or frayed edges. It might have been the nicest shirt Johnny had seen him in. His make up looked like it had been brushed up since this morning too. But why? Johnny blinked in confusion until he remembered the conversation they had earlier.

“Don’t you know what a threat is?”

“Uh...yeah?...” At least the grin disappeared from his face for a moment. 

The silence grew longer as Johnny waited for it to hit him that he was in grave danger and that Johnny was going to take out his knife and shove it through his thick skull.

“Anyway…”

Apparently it wasn’t going to.

“I know you said you were going to take me out, but,” Jimmy pointed over his shoulder at the beat-up car parked behind Johnny’s even more beat up one. “I figured since I’m already driving here I’d take _you_ out to see a movie!”

Johnny paused in the middle of reaching for his knife. “A movie?”

“Yeah!” He lit up as he started going on about the different movies that were currently playing, counting each one on his fingers.

Johnny hadn’t gone out to see a movie in a long time. When was the last time? It must have been when he saw Kafka and that guy kept kicking the back of his seat. He didn’t know how long ago that was, but it happened before he died, so it must have been a while ago.

Going to a movie didn’t seem like such a bad idea. And if Jimmy took him it would be free! Which was great because Johnny didn’t have a whole lot of money.

“--And in the trailer this girl has this huge hatchet knife,” Jimmy mimed raising the knife high above his head, “and she just rams it into this guy’s--”

“Fine.”

The gangly teen stumbled as he pretended to bring down the hatchet knife. “Wuh?”

Thin arms crossed over his chest, Johnny stayed silent for a moment, just appreciating the quiet. “We’ll go see a movie. But after that we’re going to the forest and I’m killing you there.” Johnny waited for it to finally click, for him to run back to his car and drive away, but Jimmy just lit up again.

“Great!” He turned and practically skipped over to his car.

Johnny debated just putting him out of his misery now. How could someone be so oblivious to their own doom while still having a functioning brain stem? But he decided to drop it. He could really use some time out of the house where he didn’t have to talk to anyone. Besides, there’d be time for murder after the movie.

“I need to grab some things first.” Johnny spun on his heel back into his house as Jimmy said something in response.

In the past, Johnny had used the forest to hide bodies when he ran out of room in his front and back yards. It was a pain in the ass to drive out there, but at night it was quiet and easy to find new places to hide a body.

He grabbed his shovel out of the closet, feeling the worn wood beneath his fingertips. All the edges of the shovel were covered in the dried blood Johnny couldn’t get off after ramming it through someone’s skull. A lot of blood spilled all over the floor and the shovel after he did that. Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to do any clean up tonight. After a moment he also grabbed a heavy duty flashlight. The sun hung low in the sky and by the time the movie finished it would be night. He had some cash on him and his knife so he headed back outside.

A beat-up faded red car sat behind Johnny’s, much of the paint had peeled off. Johnny was convinced his own car was held together by some supernatural force. He had no idea what was keeping Jimmy’s car together.

Jimmy leaned on the roof of his car, his head in his hand as he looked out at the horizon. It seemed almost strange how quiet and calm he looked in this moment.

He turned and pulled away from the car as Johnny walked towards him. “Here, let me…” He trotted over the trunk and unlocked it, quickly moving his things out of the way as Johnny reached the trunk.

Johnny tried to place his things so that he didn’t dirty or rip the piles of magazines. That just seemed rude.

“There.” Jimmy slammed the trunk closed and grinned at him. “This is gonna be great!” 

Johnny resisted the urge to remind him how this night would end. “Let’s go already.”

“Sure thing, Nny!”

Johnny could feel his eye twitch as he yanked open the passenger-side door and got in. He didn’t remember telling Jimmy he could call him that, but he decided to ignore it.

Something felt wrong.

Johnny frowned and lifted himself off the seat as he reached underneath and pulled out an empty bag of chips. He held it up and gave Jimmy a pointed look as he settled into the other seat.

“Oh, oops. Thought I cleaned up in here.” The bag crinkled as Jimmy took it from him. “Guess I missed this.” He flicked the piece of foil into the back seat. “I’ll deal with that later.”

Johnny twisted around in his seat as Jimmy started the car. While the front seat looked relatively clean, the back seat looked like a mess, covered in junk. Blankets and clothes covered the seats along with empty cans and wrappers and CD cases strewn about. He reached back and grabbed an oddly familiar piece of paper from a pile. It was in a thin, plastic sleeve, but when Johnny turned it over he recognized a Happy Noodle Boy comic he’d just handed out a week ago.

“Oh yeah! I really had to fight for that one.” Jimmy turned the key and the engine roared to life. Johnny glanced at the dashboard as the various different lights flickered on. “I grabbed it out of this pile of stuff and suddenly there’s this hand crushing my arm! The guy starts yelling -- drunk bastard didn’t even know what I took -- and he throws a fist at me.” Jimmy gave him a grin. “I ducked under it though.” 

“Uh huh,” Johnny responded, unsure if this story had a point. He suspected Jimmy might just like hearing himself speak.

“Then I used my great fighting skills to flip…” He glanced at Johnny. “Err…” He deflated. “Okay, I was at a bad angle and couldn’t really get a good hit in.” He pulled the car into reverse and backed away from Johnny’s car. “Eventually I got out of the fucker’s grip and took him down with a punch to the stomach. He fell like a box of drunk babies.” He switched to drive and they were off. “I know I should have just stabbed him -- I’m sure that’s what you would have done -- but I wasn’t expecting a fight. And he got me pretty good too.” Jimmy touched at a spot on his side and winced. “But I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” He turned away from the road, giving Johnny a big grin.

Johnny silently, looked down at the comic as he fingered the plastic sleeve. It was oddly flattering. That someone would fight for his worthless little pencil scratchings. He didn’t really know what to say. So he dropped the paper in the back as Jimmy continued to chatter on about other fights he got into recently. Johnny tuned him out as they drove to the theater.

When they reached the small theater just off of Ethel the sky had changed to a deep blue, the stars twinkling down from their lonely place in the sky. It wasn’t the theater Johnny usually went to, but it seemed nice enough. He kind of wanted to just stay outside and stare up at the stars.

Jimmy quickly parked the car and paid for their tickets. Johnny picked the movie Jimmy said had the girl with the hatchet. At least it sounded better than the movie comprised of just food making sex jokes.

“Hey, how about popcorn?”

Johnny turned towards the snack stand, where the younger man stood. He didn’t really want to waste his meager amount of money on food he didn’t need. “I’m low on cash.”

“That’s fine. I’ll just buy us a big one and we can share!” he said enthusiastically, turning back to the vendor.

Johnny shuffled his feet and looked around the lobby as Jimmy bought their popcorn. He hadn’t expected this. The movie was one thing, but now Jimmy was buying him food too? He must have just wanted to use as much of his money as possible since he wouldn’t be able to after tonight. Johnny could still hardly believe he went out with him.

If someone had told him this morning, after bumping into his obsessive fan, that he’d actually be going out to see a movie with him, Johnny would have laughed. And then pulled their kidneys out through their ass. But here he was, on a date with the most annoying person on Earth.

Well, maybe that was a little unchairitible.

“Let’s go!” Jimmy said around a mouthful of popcorn he’d just shoved into his mouth. He clutched the largest bucket to his chest.

Nevermind.

Johnny’s nose crinkled as he followed him into the theater. Thankfully, the theater didn’t have too many people and Johnny was able to get a seat without having someone on his right side. He winced as he heard more crunching noises coming from Jimmy. Maybe he should sit by himself somewhere. At least the theater was dark.

“Remember…” a gulp “...Remember before they had all these ads before movies?” Johnny glanced up at the huge screen where a man cried in front of the camera, begging the audience to buy a pet boulder with a little hat on. “Well, there were ads, but they were just pictures. Now there’s full on commercials! There was this one that--”

“Hey, do you ever shut up?”

“No, not really.” Jimmy got a devious grin on his face as he leaned over to Johnny. “There’s a way you could shut me up though.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I could cut your tongue out. Unfortunately, I don’t have tongs or the right gloves on me.” Johnny lifted his hand, showing his fabric, fingerless gloves. “And I’m not shoving my hand in your filthy mouth.”

Jimmy laughed and fell back into his seat, offering Johnny the huge bucket of popcorn. Johnny studied the big red and white striped bucket before hesitantly taking a few pieces and leaning back into his own seat. A not unpleasant feeling settled in his chest as they waited for the ads and trailers to finish.

The movie started off kind of cliche, but fine. Johnny prepared himself to just get through the movie so he could kill Jimmy and go home, but after a while he started to get into it. He liked seeing all the different ways the main character died. And Johnny could relate to dying and coming back. Of course, the girl was trying not to die while Johnny would have been annoyed about coming back, but he still rooted for her to survive.

As he watched the movie the rest of the world melted away. He let himself get immersed in the girl’s desperate desire to survive. Being immersed in her life was a lot easier than thinking about his own shitty life. When they got to the part with the hatchet Johnny tensed up, hoping that maybe she could kill the killer despite it being fairly early in the movie. It wasn’t that easy though.

A small knock against the back of his head finally pulled him out of his trance. His arms tightened around his boney knees. He hadn’t even realized he’d pulled his legs up onto the seat. He shifted his head slightly and several candies fell out of his hair. Snickering sounded behind him. Apparently they’d been throwing candies at him and he’d only just noticed.

Johnny uncurled himself from the seat twisting around to look behind him. The couple there didn’t even look ashamed or try to hide the candy. The man held the bag of candy, smirking down at Johnny as the woman next to him snickered more.

His fingers ached as they pressed into the hard plastic of the armrest and his face contorted into a murderous glare. “Leave me the fuck alone,” he hissed at them. No surprise when the couple didn’t look intimidated. The theater was dark and hard to see and with Johnny’s short stature and thin figure, most people didn’t see him as a threat until he had a weapon out or was already tearing out their livers.

He wanted to do just that right now, but he hesitated. Not only would he miss more of the movie, but he wouldn’t be able to do as much here in the theater. Knocking them out and taking them home would be preferable, but that would mean either missing the movie or waiting until after. And he doubted they’d just stop throwing things at him in the meantime.

“Here.” Something hollow pushed against his chest and he instinctively grabbed onto it. He glanced down at the half empty bucket of popcorn and back up to see Jimmy vaulting over the back of the seat.

“Shit!” the guy hissed as both of them pressed back into their seats.

Jimmy towered over them, his whole body tense as a compressed spring. Johnny got the disturbing feeling of looking at himself from the outside. A version of himself that was twisted and warped into almost parody. Johnny wasn’t as tall as his copycat. Or as pale. The hair and clothes were similar enough to Johnny’s own, but Johnny felt it a bit reductive to think he just wore black and white all the time. The hair on the nape of his neck stiffened and his nose and mouth crinkled.

“Stop throwing shit, you fucking used dildo!” Jimmy said in a voice way too loud to be a whisper.

The man scoffed and relaxed in his seat. “Or what?” Johnny could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “You and your _boyfriend_ will cry?” he said rather nastily. The woman next to him leaned over worriedly and whispered something, but the man’s eyes stayed trained on Jimmy.

“Hey! Sit down already!” Someone in one of the rows behind them yelled. None of them moved.

Johnny caught the glint of light right before the knife plunged deep into the man’s belly, just above his groin. The man’s eyes bugged out of his head as he gaped down at the weapon jammed into him. Johnny thought he looked like a fish with his big eyes and mouth silently opening and closing.

Like a skilled butcher, Jimmy sliced through the man’s stomach, the blade pointed up so that it tore deep into the guy’s ribcage. Choking noises spluttered out of his throat as thick blood poured down his legs and all over the seat. He went limp when the knife reached his heart, or at least near it, and the woman next to him screamed as she stumbled out of the theater. A soft rumble broke out as people complained about the noise before they quieted again.

Johnny frowned as Jimmy retrieved his knife, wiped the blade off on his pants, and returned to his seat. He did enjoy watching that guy get what he deserved but…

“Why did you do that?” Johnny asked, eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a line. There had been so many times in the past where Johnny had been bullied. He could barely think of a single time anyone had even spoken up about it, much less intervened. He picked at the seam of the popcorn bucket, trying to distract himself from the visceral disgust he felt at seeing himself from the outside.

“Huh?” Jimmy turned towards him, eyes wide and little flecks of quickly darkening red blood on his face. “Oh! I would have drawn it out more, but I didn’t want us to miss too much of the movie. Shit, did I mess up?” he asked, eyes wide under furrowed brows. Johnny relaxed in his seat. Seeing someone so concerned about his opinion right after gutting someone was...different. Not in a bad way. He stopped picking at the cardboard bucket.

“No, it’s just --”

“That lady got away. I could go hunt her down…” He threw a thumb over his shoulder at the door the woman ran to.

Johnny’s anger at the couple had faded somewhat now that they were gone. Really he just wanted to go back to being lost in the movie. He glanced up at the big screen. They hadn’t missed too much yet. “Let’s just watch the rest of the movie.”

Jimmy’s shoulders fell. “Yeah? Sounds good.”

Johnny handed him the bucket of popcorn after taking a few pieces and curled back up onto his seat, his arms wrapped loosely around his knees. He couldn’t quite immerse himself in the movie like before. He could sense Jimmy next to him now, shoveling popcorn into his mouth. It felt more like watching the movie with someone rather than next to them. It should have been annoying, but Johnny felt an odd sort of companionship as they finished watching the movie.

“I can’t believe that twist!”

“I thought it was pretty obvious there was going to be a twist.” Night had fallen, along with a fairly cold breeze. Johnny wished he’d brought his coat, but it was far too late for that now, so he just shoved his hands into his pockets. It helped a little, but the car remained a good walk away.

Jimmy turned to face him and started walking backwards, keeping pace with Johnny seemingly with ease. “Yeah, but I thought it was going to happen earlier or something. And I thought it was going to be the guy at the beginning.”

Johnny stayed silent, just watching Jimmy walk backwards in front of him. It would have been funny if he tripped and fell on his ass, but that didn’t seem to be happening.

“I can’t believe those two fuckers nearly ruined our date!”

Johnny winced at the reminder that this was a date. It still seemed completely insane that he was on a date with Jimmy of all people. But it was, technically, a date. “You really didn’t need to do that. I could have handled it.” That’s what he was used to. And he’d feel less awkward.

“Yeah, I know. I saw you disembowel all those people in the Taco Hell. With a spork! That was so badass!” Jimmy jumped and somehow still didn’t trip. “But you shouldn’t have to deal with those...thespians?”

“...plebians.”

“Yeah! You’re so much better than them. They’re not even fit to lick your boots. And you’re smart as shit! So you shouldn’t have to waste your time murdering them.”

Johnny didn’t say anything about the flattery. What could he even say to that? He could feel the knife hidden in his boot and the temptation to take it out and end this awkwardness now rose. “Still, you didn’t have to --”

“But I want to!” Jimmy looked so wide-eyed and eager; Johnny looked away, his shoulders coming up to his ears. Maybe he could just push him over and make him stop. “I wanted to murder that fucker for you. And I’ll do it again! Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it!” Jimmy said, fervent as he leaned closer to Johnny.

Johnny’s whole body tensed, his fingers twitched, wanting to reach down and grab the hilt of his knife. Jimmy’s intense expression overwhelmed him. Johnny didn’t hate it exactly, but not for the first time he wished he had gone on his journey to get rid of his emotions. He knew he didn’t deserve that kind of loyalty and the quickest way to make him stop looking at him like that would be to ram his knife right through his eye and straight into his brain.

“And yeah, you’re going to kill me tonight and all, but I’ll just crawl out of the grave for you, if you need me--oof!” Unfortunately, that wasn’t the sound of Johnny’s knife going into his head but Jimmy bumping into the side of his car. He looked over his shoulder and rubbed at the spot the door handle dug into his back.

Johnny relaxed slightly without Jimmy’s attention on him.

“Ow.” Jimmy glanced at him, apparently noticing how tense he looked, his face gaining a pink hue. “Uh, I guess I went on a bit, but you get it.” He stopped rubbing his back and looked nervously at Johnny, clearly trying not to stare at him like before. “So, uh, was there anything _you_ wanted to say? About the movie? ...Or whatever?”

Johnny pressed his lips together. “No.” He wanted nothing to do with anything Jimmy just spewed out at him. “The movie was good though. I enjoyed it.”

Jimmy gave him a grin. “Yeah? Good. So, uh...forest. The one west from here, right?”

Johnny frowned. He’d expected Jimmy to try to get him to forget about how this night was going to end. He checked his mental map and nodded. The other forest in the area happened to be a popular spot for people to go camping or have a picnic. Or other things. The last time he tried to hide a body there had been uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Jimmy turned towards the car and Johnny thought he was going to go around to the driver’s side, but instead he attempted to slide across the front, failing miserably and just landing on it. Johnny winced at the sound of Jimmy’s heels and hands clanging and bashing on the hood as he crawled over to the other side. But, to his credit, Jimmy didn’t seem embarrassed about failing at whatever he tried to do and gave Johnny a grin and a thumbs up over the roof of the car before opening the door and getting inside. 

Johnny said nothing as he pulled his hands out of the warmth of his pockets and into the cold air. The cool metal of the car door handle stung as he pulled it open and got inside.

For a date with the person he despised the most--not counting himself of course--it had gone pretty well. He hadn’t had to cut it short at least.

As he leaned back in his seat sharp cold pierced between his shoulder blades. A shiver ran up his spine. “Fuck,” he hissed as he pulled away. Stupid cheap, fake leather. He glared back at the seat as though it had personally tried to kill him.

“Shit, are you cold?”

He glanced over at Jimmy in the driver’s seat before his eyes roamed over the dashboard and the various buttons and dials. Most of them had the little symbols rubbed off, but looked operational. But the dial for the heat looked completely unsalvageable. If only he’d thought to bring his coat. Even in LA there were sometimes nights when it got cold after days of being hot. Most of the time, Johnny didn’t bother, but tonight he should have. “It’s fi--”

“It’s okay. I’ve got you covered, babe.”

Before Johnny could respond Jimmy twisted around and stretched over the console to start rummaging through the stuff in the back. Johnny leaned back, trying to avoid any unnecessary contact. He listened as CD cases clicked together when they fell to the ground and trash flew to other parts of the back seat. Some item of clothing went flying at some point. “You really don--”

“Found it!” Jimmy yelled victoriously as he struggled to get upright. “I use to wear it all the time in high school.” He plopped back into his seat and made an attempt to untangle a black hoodie with some sort of white markings. “It’s too small for me now, but it should fit you.” He handed it over to Johnny, who took it with a suspicious glare.

“Why do you have it if it’s too small for you?” He straightened out the hoodie, expecting something hideous. It was clearly well-worn, threads sticking out of the seams. The ends of the sleeves were especially frayed. The white patterns were apparently a ribcage and spine on the front with arm bones down the sleeves. Well, it wasn’t awful.

“It makes for a decent pillow,” he explained. “But it’s clean!” he quickly added. “And it glows in the dark!”

Okay, that was pretty cool.

Johnny frowned down at it. “Thank you, but I’m really not that cold.”

“Oh, okay.” Jimmy deflated slightly as he turned forward.

“It _is_ pretty nice though.” Johnny placed the hoodie down by his feet.

“Yeah!” The car roared to life and Jimmy started backing out. Johnny could see him grinning out of the corner of his eye. “It’s great, isn’t it? I was real excited when I found it. There’s also these gloves that go with it and once, I hid in these bushes and jumped out to scare these kids on Halloween. I heard kids talking about rumors of the dead coming to life for weeks!”

“Heh.” Johnny could easily see Squeegee getting scared of a jacket and worrying about the living dead coming after him. Not that Johnny would ever let them get him. He wondered if he himself had ever done anything like that.

Jimmy gave him a big grin as they stopped at a light and Johnny realized he had a small smile on his face thinking about Squee and he made it drop. A warm feeling attempted to blossom in his chest over the younger killer’s generosity, but he forced it away too, focusing his attention instead on the lights of the cars around them. Jimmy was still annoying as all fuck, but that didn’t mean every moment had to be awful.

The ride to the forest was more relaxed than the drive to the theater. Johnny didn’t know if it was because Jimmy hadn’t talked as much this time or because it was just more relaxing to drive at night. The lights from the other cars whizzed past them on the dark, quiet road. Now that they were close to the forest there were fewer lights, both from the street and the cars. The stars sparkled brighter out here. Johnny could even see the tiny stars he couldn’t spot from his roof.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Johnny glanced at him. “The stars. They’re even more beautiful here, outside the city.” He thought of a cliff at night and a wonderful, witty woman and how horribly that date ended. He sighed.

“I’ve always liked the moon.” Jimmy leaned forward a bit to get a better look. “Sometimes you can see just enough of the craters and junk that you realize it really is this huge rock floating billions of miles away.”

Johnny leaned forward with him. “I’m pretty sure it’s not _billions_ of miles away.”

“Oh...well, it’s still really far.” He pulled over onto the side of the road. “Unlike us. We’re here!” He turned the key and the car went silent.

Johnny looked out at the familiar trees. The actual trail started a little ways ahead -- according to the sign in front of them -- but he had no intention of going near there.

He pushed the door open and stepped out onto the dirt. Everything seemed fine for a moment. The fresh, piney air hit him immediately. Then a gust of wind blew past. “Shit.” He quickly wrapped his thin arms around himself as he shuddered violently enough that his teeth clattered. The air felt wet and the cold quickly seeped into his clothes.

“Hey, did you wan--” Jimmy started, hesitantly.

Johnny quickly yanked the hoodie out of the car and pulled it down over his head, messing up his hair more than normal. He straightened it out and discovered it was actually a little big, the sleeves threatening to completely cover his hands and the bottom nearly reaching the middle of his thighs. How tall was Jimmy in high school?

He reached up to fix his hair and caught Jimmy openly staring at him with a hungry look, like a man who’d never eaten in his life and was currently standing in front of one of those steaks from a commercial, all juicy and red in the middle. Johnny glared at him. It took longer than he would have liked before Jimmy finally blinked, his tongue coming out to run over his lips.

“Uhhh,” his cheeks flushed red as he turned away, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. Johnny watched his throat bob. “Errrr… I’ll just go get the stuff out of the trunk.” He stumbled over to the back of the car.

Johnny crossed his now warmer arms. “I should tear your eyeballs out.” A spork would really be the best for that. His knife could work, but it would just be messy and it wouldn’t be anywhere near as satisfying.

“That sounds kinda hot.” Jimmy said from behind the trunk door.

Johnny frowned and blinked. Maybe he’d find some old spork in the woods.

The other man slammed the trunk closed and brought the shovel and flashlight over with a grin. “I can carry the shovel, if you want.”

Johnny grabbed the flashlight out of his hand and flicked it on. “Come on, let’s go.” He turned towards the forest.

“Oh, wait!”

Johnny twisted back. Something glittered as it flew through the air towards him and he reached out to grab it. It made a clinking sound as it hit his palm. Keys?

“I figured you need the keys to drive home, right?”

Johnny glanced down at the keys and pocketed them. “Yes...thanks.”

Jimmy gave him another grin and Johnny decided not to tell him that he had just planned on taking the keys off of his corpse. Not because it would be rude but because he felt pretty sure Jimmy would just be excited about Johnny getting close to him.

He turned and led them into the forest, the flashlight illuminating the way in front of them. Dead leaves crunched under their boots and crickets chirped around them. As they continued deeper, animal cries rang out and bushes occasionally shook as the animals moved through them Branches reached out, ready to scratch and grab at them and more and more large gnarled roots poked out of the ground. Johnny easily ducked under the branches that were actually low enough to hit him, it helped that he knew the place fairly well. And that he had the flashlight. Rustling sounded behind him.

“Stupid fuck off branch!” A hard thwack and more rustling sounded.

Johnny stopped and wheeled around, aiming the flashlight right on Jimmy as he raised the shovel towards the branch again.

“Hey!” He shielded his eyes with a hand.

“Don’t use my shovel as an axe.” Of course, Johnny had used it to hack into skulls, but that was different from using it on a branch.

Jimmy whined, but put it down and they continued on.

Johnny knew the place well enough that he could easily step over the roots sticking out. Some of them seemed perfectly shaped to try to trip you. He wondered if the trees were actually trying to catch people.

A cry and rustling echoed behind him as Jimmy stumbled. Johnny slowed down for a moment before continuing on.

“So, you use this place a lot, huh?”

Johnny frowned as he stepped onto a huge, thick root over a foot tall and gracefully hopped to the other side. He turned so Jimmy had more light as he attempted to get over it. “There isn’t always a lot of room at home so I end up having to come here a decent amount of the time. One good thing is that there usually aren’t any people here, so I don’t have to deal with that.”

Jimmy nodded as he stepped onto the root much more hesitantly than Johnny had. He had to look down at his feet and hold onto the trunk to keep his balance. The hop down was a lot better.

“Plus, I’ve always wanted to live near a haunted forest.” He continued further into the forest.

“That would be fucking cool! Maybe there’s some spooky shack out here I can haunt!” The crunching of the leaves underneath Jimmy’s boots followed him deeper in and Johnny just gave him a grunt in reply.

It wasn’t too long before they arrived at the small clearing. “I started digging the grave last time I was here,” Johnny said, motioning over towards the nearly finished grave. It needed only another couple of feet dug. Well, and a body.

“Neat!” Jimmy studied the clearing as though he planned on camping there. “This is a good spot.”

Johnny gave him a glare. He didn’t remember asking him his opinion on his choice of grave site. “Alright, now give me th--”

“I’ve got it!” Jimmy said, jumping down into the hole before Johnny could say anything. “Ow, shit.”

Johnny came closer, looking down at his soon-to-be murder victim as he shook out his legs. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He looked up, shielding his face from the bright light. Johnny didn’t move the flashlight away. “Uh...digging?” 

Johnny scowled. “I can dig for myself.”

“Yeah, but I said before: I _want_ to do stuff for you! I--”

“Stop.” Johnny did not want to deal with these awkward feelings again. He moved the light out of his face.

Jimmy frowned and blinked before leering up at him. “Well, if you want to dig you can, of course. I’ll happily watch you--”

“Just start fucking digging already. Dig ten feet for all I care!” He turned and started to leave, but not before catching Jimmy’s grin.

“Sure thing, boss! I’m gonna need some light though.”

He grumbled as he went back and set up the flashlight near the hole so that Jimmy could see what he was doing. 

“Perfect.”

The clearing also had a large rock which Johnny decided to perch on. It was cold, but the bottom of Jimmy’s sweater shielded him from most of it.

Jimmy began digging, dirt flying out. “This’ll be the best dug grave ever! The bottom part at least.” A beat. “Not that the rest of it isn’t great! You dug an amazing grave! In fact, it’s the best--”

Johnny tuned out the rest of his yammering. Thankfully, he didn’t have to for long. He knew from first hand experience just how tiring digging a grave could be. Even Jimmy couldn’t keep talking while digging.

The forest sounded relatively silent now. The bugs and animals made their noises in the shadows of the trees and bushes and, of course, the scrapping of the shovel and the dirt being flung punctuated it. But there wasn’t any talking now. Unfortunately, that left Johnny alone with his thoughts. He tried not to think about how today actually went a lot better than he’d expected. He thought he’d be really excited about finishing this, but strangely, he didn’t really feel anything. He was sure that would change once he got his knife in him, but for now...Johnny looked down at his lap and rubbed the edge of his sleeve. The sweater really did look cool in the dark. The front glowed pretty brightly. Johnny was actually surprised it still worked so well when it was so worn. And it did a good job keeping him warm. The long sleeves especially helped with his hands. The tenseness returned to his shoulders and he curled in on himself, his fingernails digging into his palms, leaving little crescent shapes. His teeth dug into his lip as negative feelings buzzed around him, an amorphous swarm biting him and annoying him. He pulled the sleeves down over his hands to keep out the cold and his emotions. It only helped a little.

Eventually, the digging stopped and after a moment the shovel came flying out of the hole.

“I’m done!” A tired voice came out.

Johnny hopped off the rock and walked closer to the hole.

“Could you give me a hand up?” He reached up, clearly waiting for Johnny to take his hand.

He glanced at the outstretched hand. Maybe if he’d brought his full gloves he would have taken his hand, but he didn’t. Johnny picked up the shovel and realized something as he looked down at Jimmy.

He could finish this right now. He wouldn’t even have to get his knife dirty. One hit to the head with his shovel and Jimmy would be too concussed to try to climb out. He’d soon be slowly crushed and suffocated under 6 feet of dirt.

He could see that Jimmy came to the same conclusion. His hand slowly fell down to his side, his eyes widening and his whole body language deflated like a balloon in the jaws of a rabid dog at a child’s birthday party. Even with the clear horror on his face, the lanky teenager did nothing to try to get away or fight back or even just duck.

It would be so easy to get rid of him.

He gripped the worn wood tighter.

It could be done with so quick.

Johnny lowered the shovel down into the hole, gripping the handle tightly.

Relief spread over Jimmy’s whole body, grinning and grabbing onto the shoulders of the shovel.

Johnny stepped back and hauled up the shovel while Jimmy pushed up from the dirt wall with his feet. Some dirt rained down into the hole, but the integrity of the wall stayed intact.

He would have been lying if he said he didn’t get a rush of satisfaction at seeing Jimmy’s grin finally disappear and be replaced by genuine fear of him. But he’d also be lying if he said he didn’t also feel an unpleasant twist in his stomach. Such a drawn out death for someone who kept doing things for him may have perhaps been a bit much.

As Jimmy stumbled up onto the grass and dirt, he must have kicked the flashlight because the ray of light went spiraling into another direction. Good thing too because if it had fallen down into the hole Johnny would have shoved him back down there to go get it. And he wouldn’t help him up again.

Johnny dropped the shovel and both of them stopped to catch their breath and shake out their hands. Johnny did some hand stretched he remembered and Jimmy beat his against his pants.

“Thanks, babe,” Jimmy said with a grin. Before Johnny could open his mouth Jimmy’s gaze refocused to something behind him, his grin sliding away. “Huh.” He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, reminding him of one of those xolo dogs. He walked past Johnny, towards a tree that the flashlight’s ray shined on. “Hey, look at this.”

Johnny turned and frowned. He didn’t see anything interesting on the trunk of the tree Jimmy was looking at.

Ugh, enough of this. He wouldn’t bury the other man alive, but he still planned on giving him a slightly quicker death now. It _was_ the whole reason why he was here after all. He pulled his knife and marched up behind him, not bothering to try to be quiet. This was ending now and he wasn’t going to let Jimmy distract him. In fact, maybe he’d make this quick. He could just pull his head back by his hair and slit his throat easily. Then he could go back home and forget all of this.

As he started to raise his knife Jimmy whipped around, eyes wide in excitement as he pointed towards the tree trunk and grinned. “Did you see this?!”

Johnny stopped at his grin and the enthusiasm on his face. He couldn’t remember the last time someone actually felt excited to share something with him. Maybe Devi at the bookstore. And she’d never be excited after seeing him pull a knife on her. He knew Jimmy could see the knife. Even Jimmy must know he was about to end him. But he still wanted to show him something.

Johnny’s gaze swiveled over to the tree trunk where he saw something small and green with thin little legs. Slowly, his knife fell to his side as he walked closer.

Both of them crowded around a little praying mantis perched on the trunk. Well, it was little compared to them, the forest, and the world in general. From what Johnny knew about bugs he felt pretty sure it was an adult and female from the wings and the abdomen. The huge eyes really stuck out, a dark brown against the green exoskeleton. They were gradually changing into a pale green. Johnny assumed the light was causing that. Johnny envied her ability to just live her life, not worrying about emotions or having anyone manipulate her with those emotions. Hopefully one day he could be like that.

“What do you think it’s thinking about?”

Johnny glanced at him. “She’s an insect. Probably the basic necessities she needs to live.”

The little bug started grooming herself, running her forearm through her mouth parts before rubbing it against her bulbous eye, turning her head like a tiny cat. Jimmy giggled at her and they leaned closer to get a better look. She continued grooming, hooking her forearm on her antenna and running it through her mouth. Next, she twisted back and did the same with her feet. A smile slowly grew on Johnny’s face.

“I didn’t know they were like little cats!”

For reasons only the praying mantis knew she started wiggling back and forth, her movements so perfect Johnny could almost hear her joints creak as though she was a tiny robot. She started slow before going almost wildly fast. She almost looked like a twig barely hanging on in a strong wind. Though there wasn’t any wind now.

Out of the corner of his eye, Johnny could see Jimmy grin at the bug’s antics.

A fly landed in front of the mantis and she zeroed right in on it.

“Oooh, this’ll be fun.”

Johnny just nodded, not wanting to scare her meal away.

Almost faster than either of them could see, her arms lashed out… and missed. The fly seemingly didn’t notice anything and just turned a little. Meanwhile, the mantis’s arm spikes remained stuck in the wood, leaving her almost stretched out against the tree trunk. Both of them tried desperately to hold in their laughs as she pulled herself forward and tried to eat the bark. Apparently it didn’t taste like a fly because she let go after a few nibbles.

“Aww, that’s too bad.”

“Yeah.”

Both of them were about to straighten out and leave when she caught sight of the fly’s slight movement.

The whole area went completely silent, not even any breathing between them, and she wiggled a little more before striking. Time seemed to slow down as her arm spikes sunk into the fly’s exoskeleton, yanking it off of the trunk.

“Yeah!” The two of them laughed as the insect obliviously cut into her prey.

Johnny’s gaze focused back on Jimmy and realized their faces were barely a foot apart. He stopped laughing and stood up straight, his face heating up slightly. He looked back at the praying mantis. Something sat wrong with him as he watched her eat the fly, still struggling to get away as its side disappeared into the predator’s mouth. The mantis just mindlessly continued eating, ignorant to its fight for life.

“That was so cool!” Jimmy kept trying to get a good look, still leaning forward on his knees.

His stomach twisted again and his chest tightened as he watched him. One arm came up and wrapped around his middle as he looked away, biting his lip. He came to a conclusion.

Of course, Johnny wanted to be free of emotion like her, but as he watched her, there was something familiar about it. He could easily imagine a desire so strong that it decimates anyone in its path. He remembered the doughboys and Meat always urging him to give in. Give in to his own rage. To either focus it on himself or the people around him. To always succumb to his desires. If he could feel nothing, like an insect, they wouldn’t be able to manipulate him. But what if he ended up giving into his own carnage? He didn't want to escape from the doughboys only to lose control and thoughtlessly destroy and consume lives like they were Señor Salsa potato chips. 

Jimmy straightened out, a wistful smile on his face. “That was fun. This whole night’s been fucking awesome!” A sigh. “I guess this is it. But it was worth it! Really any moment spent with yo--”

“Let’s go home.” Johnny spun on his heel , his knife disappearing back where it belonged, and he walked away before he could change his mind. “W...what?”

Johnny picked up the shovel and leaned it against his shoulder before turning back to Jimmy. He’d never seen someone so surprised about being allowed to live. Although he wasn’t usually in the habit of letting people go. “Well, I’m going home. You can go...where ever.”

Jimmy blinked and slowly grinned. “Really?”

Johnny swiveled back and started to leave the clearing. Jimmy could figure out that he should grab the flashlight and follow him.

“Wait!”

Despite his better judgement, he stopped and looked back. At least Jimmy grabbed the flashlight.

“You know, this place looks like a pretty good makeout spot,” Jimmy implied, leaning forward.

Johnny’s face was stone as he hefted the shovel up just a bit, the implication obvious.

He just grinned back. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s save that for some other time.” He jogged past Johnny with a laugh and vanished into the trees.

With a sigh, Johnny stalked after him, back towards the car.

“I liked that part where the fucking cop car blew up!”

Johnny laughed. “She tried so hard to get arrested and that ended up being her downfall!” He leaned back in his seat as the street lights ran past them overhead. He didn’t remember how they got back to talking about the movie, but they had been for most of the car ride home. “The part where she hung herself in the clock tower was great! That took a lot of guts.”

“Yeah, jumping from that high would be pretty tough.” Jimmy pulled over and parked right behind Johnny’s car, exactly where this whole thing started. “We’re here!!” 

Both of them got out of the car and Jimmy rushed to open his trunk. Johnny grabbed his things and headed for his house.

“I could get those for you.” Jimmy slammed the trunk closed and jogged up to him to walk him to his door.

“I’ve got it. And you don’t have to walk me home. I’m pretty sure I’m the most dangerous thing on this street.”

“Exactly! So, right here is the safest place to be.”

Johnny frowned but said nothing as they reached his door. He quickly opened it and placed his things down. He felt so relieved to be home. Social interaction left him exhausted and he hadn’t expected to do so much of it today. He would have loved to just go inside now, but there was still something he needed to do.

Outside, he found Jimmy leaning against the wall, next to the door. “I thought we had a pretty great time, right?” His brows furrowed with worry.

He could just lie. If Johnny was lucky, Jimmy would leave him alone and he’d never have to see him again. “I...enjoyed it. It was a pretty good time.”

Jimmy’s whole face lit up. “Great! I’m so happy! Me not being dead made it even better.”

“Well, I could change my mind later.” He crossed his arms. Even tomorrow Jimmy would probably do something to piss him off just enough that Johnny would kill him.

“And I’ll happily let you,” he said with a grin. “But for now, I get to be alive to remember this amazing night we had. Including getting to see you in that sweater.”

“Oh, yeah.” That was what he came back out for. Johnny grabbed the bottom of the sweater and pulled it up over his head. He could feel the cold now, but not nearly as bad as in the forest. And he’d be warmer inside soon anyway.

He threw the sweater at him and Jimmy pouted. “Aww. You could have kept it.” He folded it over his arm. “It looked way better on you than it ever did on me. You sure you don’t want it?”

“No, thank you.” He didn’t want to get into how he felt a bit weird wearing his clothes. “I have a coat.” And a bunch of moth-hole ridden blankets. He turned to go back inside.

“Hey.”

He frowned and twisted around.

Jimmy leaned against the wall again. “So, since this was our first date and all I figured we could, you know, kiss.” He wiggled his eyebrows and leaned forward.

“No,” Johnny said bluntly and moved to go in.

“Oh, okay,” he said, his disappointment clear for a second. “...Wait! What about a hug?”

Johnny tilted his head at him and his outstretched arms. He didn’t usually hug people. He might have made a small, quick exception since he did actually have a fun, but he felt too tired for that much human contact. “How about a handshake?” Hesitantly, he offered his hand.

Jimmy’s eyes lit up like a child on Christmas, his cheeks tinged red. “That would be great!” He reached forward and engulfed Johnny’s hand with both of his own, shaking it vigorously. 

Johnny gave him a moment, until his shoulder started to hurt and he could feel too much body heat from Jimmy’s hands. “Okay, okay. That’s enough.”

He let go and waved as he ran back to his car. “Tonight was fucking magical! I’ll pick you up for our next date! Let me know if you have any ideas!” He yelled before getting into his car.

Johnny scoffed and rolled his eyes. Sure, he’d enjoyed tonight, but that didn’t mean he ever planned on doing it again. He stepped inside and closed the door as Jimmy drove away.


End file.
